Step Two of the Aurelian Coaching Model, continued: Where Might Things Go Sideways?

None of this stuff is rocket science, until you try to actually put it into practice, right?

Define a desired outcome?

Yeah, I can do that, easy.

Make decisions linked to rationale describing how they get you closer to the desired outcome (and leaving behind all the activities that don’t)?

Harder, but I get it. I can make a table of this stuff, sure.

Explore all the reasons why you aren’t already where you want to be, if it’s all so darn easy?


I have competing family commitments!

My job is demanding!

I lose motivation!

Other things are just higher priority right now!

I can’t just drop my other responsibilities!

All of these things might be true.

And so… what?

I call all these reasons our “why-nots.” We all know about our “whys” and “starting with why” and “keeping your why close” … except what if our why-nots are stronger than our whys?

Here is what I suggest:

Name all the potential pitfalls, distractions, and problems that are likely to throw you off-course. This isn’t the equivalent of an act-of-God clause where lightning might strike you and your deliberate plan will be thrown out completely; of course, we do not have a crystal ball. Instead, look to the past to understand what your tendencies are, how you react to external stimuli, how you process incoming information.

Then, create a 2×2 matrix. 

External (your circumstances) Internal (your tendencies)
Willing to accept
Unwilling to accept

You see where I’m going with this. You plug your execution issues into the matrix, and each quadrant has a particular solution.

External (your circumstances) Internal (your tendencies)
Willing to accept SOLUTION:

Create a workaround.


Make small changes.

Unwilling to accept SOLUTION:

Create a boundary.


Make big changes.

Here’s where you achieve nirvana: you fold the decisions from this 2×2 matrix back into the D.A.R.T Method you used in Step Two of the model. You will come out with a comprehensive Deliberate Plan that is:

  1. Anchored in a desired outcome, a vision characterized by conditions you want to achieve, come what may, rather than isolated goals.
  2. Proactive decisions with associated rationale describing why and how you get closer to your vision, and no decisions that result in busy work with no true ROI.
  3. A plan that acknowledges your history and circumstances, proactively addresses potential pitfalls, and allows you to follow through more than you ever have before.

Is your mind blown yet?

Example time. I will use myself as an example on this one, rather than others I’ve coached. (These things can sometimes tip into the realm of very personal stuff! Luckily, I have no qualms about sharing.)

STEP ONE Desired Outcome: To have a business whose content folds back into itself for growth.

STEP TWO Deliberate Plan: Used D.A.R.T Method, outlined below.

Work into my client contracts that I can use our work together as anonymous content for blog, podcast, and marketing Law firm Embedding the opportunity to use case studies for ALL of my clients into the contract allows me to constantly have new content, continue to share learning across all of my clients and subscribers, and increases variety in value to my audience 10/31/17
Use the Aurelian Coaching model in my own life daily Self Employing the practice myself daily will reinforce to make it second nature, as well as validate the model for the realities of daily life. What I learn in application of the model myself can be explored for conversion to new content. Daily, as part of morning mindfulness routine
Engage authors and speakers in the same industry Self Share content or collaborate, build upon others’ great ideas and best practices and vice versa. Plan outlined by 12/31/17. Outreach by 1/31/18.

I have included both my execution issues into the 2×2 matrix below, as well as my additional decisions, based on the solution each quadrant demands:

External (my circumstances) Internal (my tendencies)
Willing to accept
  • I have a kid who needs me when it’s not especially convenient for my work priorities.

Create a workaround: Be totally present for her at dedicated times, and do not multitask.

  • I’m not particularly inspired working in my home office.

Make small changes: Remove non-professional items from home office. Get a sit-stand converter.

Unwilling to accept
  • Social media is distracting.

Create a boundary: Remove social media bookmarks from my computer. Turn my phone to Do Not Disturb during content creation hours.

  • It can be intimidating for me to reach out to people to network.

Make big changes: Name fears, categorize and rational or irrational, and even though I’m intimidated, do it anyway!

These additional decisions are added to the D.A.R.T. framework with authority, rationale, and timelines so that I have the true recipe for success.

The Aurelian Coaching Model serves you best in big, overarching ways. It’s a way to organize your priorities and behavior according to your vision and values. It prompts some deep questions – especially about what might be holding us back, our why-nots – but so much the better. It can take time to apply, but the results are so worth it.

Try applying the Aurelian Coaching Model! Considering a job change? Starting a family while climbing the executive ladder? Sign up for a free mini-session, and let’s talk. 


Come on! Tell us what you're thinking.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.