When considering how to be proactive, remember that we are asking ourselves these questions:
- When wanting to improve a neutral or positive situation and make it even better, ask, how can I absolutely THRILL the other party and make them jump out of their skin in happiness?
- When wanting to improve a negative situation, ask, how can I create a softer landing spot for the other party and help them improve their conditions?
These might seem a little on the extreme side, but that’s the point I want to make: being proactive is no small thing. It’s a big deal.
Being proactive is never just finishing ahead or doing an exceptional job. That’s just… well, your job.
You can show up in a relationship half-assed.
You can show up in a relationship doing what you’re supposed to be doing exceptionally well.
You can show up in a relationship doing things not at all expected or required.
Being proactive is the third option ONLY.
For example, on the job, you have a job description with duties and responsibilities. There may be a section on “may be asked to do…” Being proactive means you are stepping outside the requirements to help others fulfill obligations and resolve problems or conflict.
You may be VERY good at what you do, and there’s no taking away from that. There are a lot of people who SHOW UP every time and DELIVER on point. That’s fantastic!
But! It’s not necessarily being proactive. That’s a whole other level of showing up for someone else.